The Doctor Goes Camping
by RixxiSpooks
Summary: Rose decides that the Doctor should experience some real human things! And camping's about as human as you get! A lot of fun, randomness and the Doctor getting very confused...
1. Camping

**Hey, just a random idea that came to me! I sounded cool in my head! Not so sure on the paper! Well, just read it! Includes Captain Jack who is somehow with them. Don't ask me how. Just a bit of fun.**

"So, where'd you wanna go?" The Doctor grinned crookedly, staring at Rose and Jack, "The Spanish Armada? Mars? Raxicoricofallipatorius? No, maybe not. The extinction of the dodo?"

"Er…" Rose looked at Jack who shrugged, "Well, I was wondering whether you could take me home?"

"What? Why? What did I do? Why?!" the Doctor looked crestfallen.

"No," Rose laughed at his forlorn expression, "I mean can we go back to Earth. I know we have the whole of time and space to explore but I want to do something kinda normal. Show you something of my time."

"But Rose, I know what Earth's like, I've been there thousands of times," the Doctor frowned.

"Yeah, but you take me all these amazing places, I wanna…I dunno, do something totally _human_," Rose struggled to get her point across as the two men she loved most in the universe stared at her in bewilderment.

"Like what?" Jack finally asked.

"I wanna go camping!" Rose smiled, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Camping?" Doctor repeated, a raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I went once when I was a kid with Guides but I never really got a chance after that because of living in London. I've always wanted to go again," Rose made her eyes big and round, pleading.

"Living in a tent and cooking by fire?" the Doctor said, looking doubtful.

"Yeah, I'll sort it out! I know exactly where to go and what activities we can do! It'll be so much fun!" Rose clapped her hands together and danced away across the control room.

"Did I say yes?" the Doctor turned a bemused expression on Jack who grinned and shrugged.

"I don't think you have much choice, when that girl's set on something she gets it," the American replied.

"No she doesn't, I can tell her no," the Time Lord answered, looking haughty. Just at that moment Rose came skipping over to them and huge smile plastered across her face.

"So, it's sorted, I've borrowed a tent from a mate, another friend of mines letting us use her field, I've got some activities sorted…" Rose reeled off several more parts of her plan whilst the Doctor stood agape, stunned by the speed of the words tumbling out of her mouth. It was like him on a high, "It's gonna be great! You don't mind do you?" Rose directed her last sentence at him and the Doctor froze.

"Sure!" he squeaked in fright and ran away to go fix something. Jack just burst out laughing and Rose gave him a strange look.

* * *

"Right, this is it!" Rose breathed in the fresh country air and smiled, her hair blowing freely in the strong wind. The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS after her, lugging a tent and some other supplies, "The open countryside!"

"Yes, Rose, I can see that but I still don't see why we had to come here! If you wanted the countryside we could've just made a quick daytrip and then be back in the TARDIS before tea!" the Doctor panted.

"But where's the fun in that?" Jack followed them out, grinning, carrying several rucksacks.

"Ok, so where are we gonna set up camp?" the Doctor sighed and looked around the rolling hills and spotted a steady flowing river at the edge of the field. A densely wooded area was situated behind them and a small house with several metal sheds out the back was settled in front. A small track ran up to this dwelling from a road the Doctor could see in the distance, fast cars speeding past. "And where's the loo?"

"There isn't one, dodo," Rose thumped him happily on the shoulder, "When nature calls you go in a bush! The proper camping experience."

"But, what if you need….a number two?" the Doctor whispered.

"Ah, that's a special case and you _can _use that building over there. It belongs to my friend, Debs; she's the one letting us use her field. She runs a kennels."

"Oh, so that explains the dog barking I can hear in the background. I was wondering whether my mind was playing tricks on me," Jack nodded, "Is this Debs single?"

"Yes, but leave her alone, Jack, she's just divorced," Rose warned the flirtatious captain who pouted and hung his head. "Anyway, I may have forgotten to tell you, in exchange for using her facilities."

"Facilities?!" the Doctor gave a bark of a laugh.

"Yes, Doctor, she asked me if we could walk some of the dogs in the morning and the evening," Rose finished.

"Oh, sounds fun!" the Doctor said sarcastically.

"Doctor! That's not like you! Usually you enjoy anything," Rose frowned, "Why are you being moody?"

"Rose, you're separating me from my TARDIS so I can sleep under a piece of material and pee in a bush, I think I have reason to be moody," the Doctor retorted.

"Oh well, you'll have to get over it then," Rose continued unfazed, "Because I have this, and this." The girl held up the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and three keys.

"But, but, how could you?!" the Doctor yelped, "What if I need to save the world or something? How am I supposed to do that if you take away my tools?"

"No aliens are gonna pop up on this holiday. You won't need you're _toys_ here," Rose smirked and tucked them in her pocket before shutting the door of the blue police box behind them. The Doctor deflated, stuck out his bottom lip and followed an exuberant Rose over to a flat piece of land where she decided would be a great place to set up the tent.

"Now, Jack, got any experience of putting up tents?"

"Er…we don't really have them in the 51st century but I learn fast," Jack grinned his usual charming smile and grabbed the end of the tent bag, tipping the contents on the floor. "Let's go!"

* * *

"Doctor! Slide the damn pole through the hole!" Rose yelled at the Time Lord who looked completely and utterly lost.

"I don't get it."

"What is there to get?!" she cried out in frustration, "Jack, help him." The ex-conman bounded over to the Doctor's side and demonstrated sliding the joined, flexible poles through the flimsy material.

"Well that's stupid," the Doctor announced.

"Doctor, shut up and do the next one!" Rose shouted at him.

"Fine!" the Doctor replied and then muttered to himself, "Bossy-boots, meanie, bully…"

"Voila!" Rose squealed as the tent took shape and the three of them pegged in the guide ropes.

"Is that it?" the Doctor asked, unimpressed.

"Yes, wanna look inside?" Rose unzipped the front porch and climbed in. The Doctor followed uncertainly and lay down beside her. Jack jumped in the middle of them and rolled on his back. It was rather squashed.

"Hmm, we're gonna be _very _cosy in here," Jack grinned suggestively.

"Don't even think about it!" the Doctor and Rose yelled simultaneously.

**Review and have a chocolate biscuit! Tell me what you think. Good? Bad? Should I continue?**


	2. Theodore

**Ok, I hate this chapter, it's a load of bollocks. Sorry. :( Anyway, all I can say is DAVID TENNANT is so hot and let you read this poor excuse for a chapter. I do have a feeble excuse though, today when playing rounders I slipped over impaled myself on a cone (which canes by the way) and cracked myself over the head with a wooden bat which I think knocked the last few brain cells from my head. But look on the bright side, I have a Science _and _an English exam tomorrow! Whoopdeedoo! Anyway, there is no point in me saying 'Enjoy' as you'll probably want to throw yourself off the highest building straight after. **

"You know, if we're gonna eat we'll need some wood to make a fire," the Doctor said.

"Great idea," Rose sat up and clapped her hands together, "Off you pop then. Me and Jack will just sit and wait here." The Doctor's eyebrows shot up and he gaped at her.

"Me?" he yelped in a high pitched voice.

"Yes, it was your idea so shove off," Rose grinned and pushed an indignant Doctor from the tent causing him to sprawl on the grass outside.

"Hey, that wasn't very nice," he whined and stood up, brushing off his suit, "Now look what you've done to my suit. You've made it all dirty!"

"God, Doctor, stop being so namby-pamby and get your butt moving," Rose shouted from within the tent and he set off grumbling towards the wood.

* * *

As he neared the building the barking grew louder and a grin returned to his face. Dogs! He just loved them. Now cats, that was another story. He sauntered past what he guessed to be the kennel block and smiled charmingly as he saw a young woman walk out of a side gate. She looked exhausted, her long curly brown hair was all over the place and her dungarees were covered in dog hair. When she spotted him she frowned, her brown eyes looking slightly angry.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor!" the Doctor greeted her, long-fingered hand outstretched in a warm gesture. Immediately her face unclouded and she smiled at him.

"So you're the Doctor, I can see what Rose was saying," the woman looked the Time Lord up and down appreciatively causing him to feel rather vulnerable, then she muttered under her breath, "And she might have some competition."

"Sorry, what was that?" the Doctor asked, unsure of what he'd just heard.

"Nothing, so, er…set up camp yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, just over there somewhere. They sent me to get the wood cos they're too lazy," the Doctor pouted, "By the way; I'm guessing you're Debs, right?"

"Oh god, how rude of me, yeah, I'm Debs Hunter," Debs replied, "Er…wanna meet the dogs?"

"Yeah, anything to get me out of wood collecting," the Doctor nodded and followed Debs back the way she'd come.

There were rows of kennels all along the inside of the building and dogs of all breeds jumping up and barking from inside them making one hell of a racket.

"So," the Doctor shouted above the din, "Do they all have owners or are some of them strays?"

"Well, most of them are just staying here for awhile, they have owners," Debs yelled back, "But the ones at the end have no homes and were just dumped on me."

"Aw, aren't you a cutie," the Doctor bent down and crouched on his haunches grinning at a tiny dog with brown fur and big soulful eyes.

"That's Kenzo," Debs informed him, "He's been here for three weeks, his owners are somewhere in Majorca. Been pining the whole time."

"Right, I remember when I took Rose to Barcelona and there were dogs with no noses there. She wanted to adopt one but I told her that she wasn't having it on the TARDIS. You see, the last time I brought an animal onto the TARDIS it turned out to be a shape shifting alien that wanted to kill me. I had to stave it off with a stick. Vicious thing. I still love dogs though, cats…not so much," all through the Doctor's speech Debs stared at him, mouth hanging open. He must be joking. Mustn't he? Shape shifting aliens. There's no such thing. Is there?

"Much as I'd like to stay, I have to g…aw!" the Doctor spotted another dog that was pushed up against the mesh of the pen. It was scrap of a thing with floppy ears and tufty fur.

"Oh, that one was dropped off here yesterday. Found on the roadside. He's a mongrel, about eleven months old," Debs supplied the information.

"Aw, isn't the lickle puppy a sweetie," Debs raised her eyebrows at the grown man fussing over the puppy but stepped forward as he stuck his fingers through the cage to stroke the dog.

"Oh, don't do that he doesn't like people and he bites everyone…" but she was stopped in her tracks as the puppy licked his fingers affectionately, "Except you it seems," she finished.

"Has he got a name?" the Doctor asked, fondling the puppy's silky ears.

"No."

"I'll call him Theodore."

"Theodore?" Debs gaped.

"Yes, what's wrong with that?" the Doctor jumped to his feet sounding indignant.

"Er…bit of a mouthful for a dog's name. Usually it's Ben, or Cookie or something," the woman replied.

"Ah, well, I like being different. Being different is good! He can be Theo for short though. Now, I _really_ must be off. Nice meeting you Debs. I'll probably be seeing you in the morning but I need to fetch some wood for my human ape friends. Ta ta!" With that the Doctor was off, striding down the corridor and disappearing from sight.

* * *

Rose and Jack were outside setting up the metal foil barbeque they'd brought with them, without the Doctor's knowledge. Rose had just thought it would be funny to send the 900 year old alien off to get some wood when they already had a gas stove to cook on and coal. She wanted to see his face when he came back and realised what she'd done. She couldn't wait.

Jack was busy throwing on the sausages and burgers elaborately tossing them with the spatula. He was really enjoying himself.

"So, Rose, you can tell me, what are we gonna do tomorrow?" Jack asked, catching a run away sausage before it fell off the grill.

"Well, do you want the plan for the days we're gonna be here?"

"Yeah, in fact, how long _are _we gonna be here?" Jack questioned.

"I dunno, haven't actually set a time. Anyway, tomorrow we're going canoeing. Then we're going paint balling. Um…I wanna see how the Doctor fairs at football at some point but I dunno when. After that I have a few things arranged but you'll have to wait and see."

"Football? Now I can't see the Doc doing that," Jack shook his head, struggling to picture the lanky Time Lord kicking a football.

"Can't see me doing what?" without either of them realising the Doctor had crept up on them and plonked himself on the grass.

"Er…nothing," Rose gabbled quickly, then she noticed his lack of wood, "Hey, you haven't collected any sticks."

"I know, but we don't need them, you have a very good _coal _fire going there. Ooh, I love barbeques. Haven't had one in ages," the Doctor drew in a deep breath and grinned at Rose's face, "What?"

"You were supposed to get the wood and then we could laugh at you," she announced, feeling cheated of her fun.

"Ah, but this way I can laugh at you! Cos you made a fool of yourself!" the Doctor grinned wickedly, chortling, "Oh I met Debs by the way and she showed me some of the dogs. I've named one Theodore."

"Theodore?" Rose spluttered, almost choking on the hot chocolate she was sipping.

"Theodore?" Jack echoed and then yelped as he put his hand down in shock on the fire and burnt himself.

"Yeah, I don't see what's wrong with it," the Doctor frowned at his companions who were now in hysterics.

"At least," Rose wheezed, "It's not as bad as Arthur."

"Who's Arthur?" Jack asked, intrigued.

"A French horse."

"A French horse?! When did I miss this?!"

**See what I mean, feel free to murder me now, it'll be welcome. Review though, and tell me how crap it is.**


	3. Merlin and Jeff

**Next chapter is here! Whoop! Ok, I think or hope, this is better than the last chapter. I laugh at it anyway and I wrote it. Please enjoy and review!**

"I think I'm gonna turn in now," Rose yawned widely and stood up from beside the fire where they were toasting marshmallows.

"Oh, no, don't go," the Doctor pouted, "Then I'll have to be stuck with him." He jerked a thumb at Jack who pretended to look offended.

"What's wrong with being _stuck _with me?" he asked indignantly.

"Nothing," the Time Lord said a little too quickly, "I think I'll take a kip too." He leapt to his feet and dived into the tent, "Bagsy going in the middle!"

"What?! No fair. I was gonna go there," Jack shouted and jumped in after him leaving Rose standing outside, an amused look on her face, "I'll go in the middle too!" The young woman struggled not to laugh as the two men rolled over in the tent in sleeping bags, trying to push the other to one side.

"You know, if anyone other than me saw this," Rose paused, watching as the Doctor lay on top of Jack to prove his point, "They would think that you two are doing something _completely _different." As soon as the Doctor heard this his eyes widened and he sprung off Jack and inched as far away as possible from him. Rose giggled and slipped into the tent after them.

"Aw, come on Doc, don't you wanna come in the middle with me?" Jack grinned wickedly causing the Doctor to back further to the side of the tent until he was stopped by the fabric.

"Rose, help me," he squeaked.

"How bout _I _go in the middle," Rose plonked herself in between the two men and slithered into her sleeping bag.

"Oh, well that just ruined the whole object of the fight," Jack moaned.

"You gonna fight me then?" Rose raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wouldn't mind," Jack winked.

"Jack!" Rose laughed, "You're not gonna fight me cos I'm a girl, ok?"

"Hey, you know I swing both ways. In fact, I swing _every _way but still…"

"Shut up Jack," the woman shook her head, "I'll go in the middle so you two can protect me if anything big, bad and hairy comes to attack me."

"I.e. Jack," piped up the Doctor, a grin plastered across his face.

"Oi!"

"No fighting," Rose kicked them both from within her sleeping bag to make sure they got the message, "Now go to sleep."

* * *

Rose's eyes flickered open and she blinked in the bright interior of the tent. She looked either side of her and found, to her complete and utter shock, that both Jack _and _the Doctor were still there, fast asleep. She would've thought they'd be up by now, ready and raring to go, waiting for her to get up. It was amazing.

They both looked so cute asleep but Rose had to say, much to her embarrassment, she preferred staring at the sleeping Doctor rather than Jack. With his eyes closed the Time Lord looked much less imposing and invincible. He looked like a little boy tucked up in bed, vulnerable and small, his brown hair falling across his forehead and his chin resting on his hand. As he breathed the red sleeping bag he was in rose and fell rhythmically and he made soft snuffling noises. Rose smiled.

After a couple of minutes she decided to get up. Maybe she could go visit Debs as she hadn't had time last night and warn her of Jack. She also needed to check that the canoes were ready. Debs was the owner of them and had only allowed the use of the canoes if she could come. Also, she had to meet this Theodore and walk some of the dogs.

Quickly she changed her clothes and unzipped the tent, stepping out into the cool, damp morning air. The long carpet of grass around her was wet with dew and the bottoms of her trousers fast became soaked. She shivered and wished she'd brought a coat with her. Turning round she looked back in the tent and spotted the Doctor's large cream coat. She grinned and tugged it from the Doctor's feet and wrapped it gratefully round her shoulders. Then she quickly did the zip back up and headed towards the building by the forest.

* * *

Knocking on the door, Rose hopped from foot to foot in anticipation. She heard a scuffling inside and several deep barks followed by a series of yips. Then the door opened and a huge dog barrelled out. Rose screamed as it pushed her off her feet and saw its sharp rows of teeth bearing down on her. Then a long pink tongue darted from the massive jaws and began licking her all over the face. She laughed and batted the dogs head away and its golden eyes looked crushed. She sat up and rubbed the giant animal behind the ears. She couldn't believe she'd been scared of Merlin! The Irish wolfhound barked again and he gave her a doggy grin.

"Hey, Merlin, you've grown big," Rose scratched him affectionately. Last time she'd seen him he'd been a puppy. Even then he was pretty large but now he was enormous, and very hairy.

"Rose!" the face of Debs appeared in front of her smiling, "You ok?"

"Yeah, Merlin gave me a bit of a fright," Rose admitted and hauled herself to her feet and stroking the dog again as he butted her on the arm.

"Sorry, I tried to hold him back but Jeff was being difficult, as usual," the woman gestured to the little animal in her arms who was baring his teeth viciously.

Merlin and Jeff were a strange combination. Merlin was huge and the gentlest animal you could ever have the fortune to meet. He wouldn't hurt a fly whereas Jeff was a tiny Tibetan spaniel with a temper and very, very sharp teeth. He bit anyone and everyone except Debs but even she had her fingers snapped at occasionally. Rose didn't like Jeff at all. She never went near him if she could help it.

"Wanna come in, Rose?" Debs asked.

"Yeah, if you don't mind, I've left the guys sleeping in the tent so I can come down here and organise the canoes."

"They're ready and waiting by the river. I've made a picnic as well," Debs announced, leading Rose into the kitchen, "D'you mind if I bring Lucy?"

"No, not at all, I don't think the boys will mind," Rose reassured her, not adding that it might keep Jack away from Debs which was a good thing.

Lucy was Debs' nine year old daughter who had been born when Debs was seventeen. She had caused the marriage between Debs and Lucy's father who felt guilty. It hadn't lasted though, neither of them was happy and so they divorced. Lucy had been upset at first but she was very resilient and bounced back pretty soon.

"Good, she can handle a canoe very well so she shouldn't be a hinder."

"I'm sure the Doctor will be more of a problem," Rose told her, grinning at the aspect of the Time Lord in a canoe, "It's his first time."

"Sounds like today's gonna be interesting."

* * *

The Doctor's eyes opened slowly and he drew in a deep breath. Sitting up he ran a tired hand through his hair making it stick up even more than it did already and yawned. He looked side wards and saw the sleeping form of Jack. Then he looked in the middle and did a double take. Rose was gone! His heart thumped wildly and his eyes widened. Who'd taken her?! How could neither of them have noticed? He leapt to his feet, forgetting he was in a tent and fell back to the floor. Then he noticed that Rose's clothes were gone, along with his coat. A kidnapping alien monster wouldn't have taken them. The Doctor sagged in relief. He had jumped to a conclusion too soon. She'd probably got up to go to the loo or something.

He climbed out of the tent, muttering about Rose always taking his coat and shivered as the cold wind blew into him, causing goose pimples to appear on his flesh. He looked around at the smouldering fire and the rest of the camp but Rose wasn't there. He guessed she was down with Debs at the kennels weren't they supposed to be walking the dogs?

Setting purposefully off he completely forgot about Jack who was still snoozing in the tent on his own with no idea where they'd gone.

* * *

As he reached the kennels again a small blur appeared from behind the building and careered into him. The speeding object that had collided with him bounced back and landed with a thump on the floor.

"Ow," a young girl was sprawled on the ground, rubbing her elbow; she glared up at the lanky man who stood over her, "Watch where you're going why don't you?"

"Hey, you're the one who ran into me," the man replied.

"You got in the way," the girl retorted, climbing to her feet and brushing herself down.

"Did not," the man answered.

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Ok, this is stupid," the girl frowned at the grown man who gave her an equal frown back, a smile twitching at his lips, "You're not supposed to argue back."

"Why not?" the man asked, eyebrows raised.

"Cos you're an adult."

"So, just cos I'm an adult why don't I get to have unimportant arguments?"

"Cos you don't."

"Why not?"

"Cos you don't."

"Why not?"

"There you go again," the girl laughed at the man, he may be irritating but he was funny, "Who are you anyway?"

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor grinned.

"That's a gay name."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"IS NOT!"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture. You're my mum's friend Rose's friend aren't you?"

"Yes, that's me, the Doctor and friend of Rose Tyler," he announced.

"She likes you."

"I know, but who wouldn't. You like me and you've only just met me!"

"She likes you…a lot."

"Pardon?" the Doctor thought he'd misheard.

"Anyway, wanna come on the trampoline with me?"

"You have a trampoline?"

"Yeah."

"Wow!"

**I always wanted to see David Tennant on a trampoline. I don't know why I just think it would be hilarious. Review to get the next chapter which has the canoeing and the trampolining! Whoop! And have a marshmallow!**


	4. Trampoline

**Next chapter, sorry, I lied! No canoeing yet! Just the Doctor jumping on a trampoline! Yay!**

The Doctor's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he caught sight of the fourteen foot trampoline in the garden behind the kennels. His mouth fell open and Lucy laughed at his expression. Regaining his composure the Doctor reined in his jaw and leapt forward, clapping his hands in delight, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Whoopee!" he grinned and darted forward trying to kick off his converse as quickly as possible but found they were tied to tightly. He groaned in frustration and his fast fingers set to work on the knots undoing them in a matter of milliseconds.

"You seem pretty enthusiastic," Lucy commented, a bemused smile on her light features as the grown man literally bounced onto the trampoline and did a forwards roll with the momentum, "Anyone would think you hadn't been on one before."

"I have, but it was over two hundred years ago, in my younger days, haven't had time since," the Doctor shouted and whooped in joy as he bent his gangly legs and sprang several metres in the air. Lucy didn't think she'd ever seen someone jump so high, he was like a human frog. The young girl's mind quickly skipped over the fact that the man had mentioned being alive over two hundred years ago, too amused by his antics.

"Boing!" the Doctor yelled at the top of his lungs, beaming all the while. He bounced and bounced, each time going higher and higher than before. His hands wind milled in the air and his already manic hair was messed up beyond imagination. His brown locks sticking up at the oddest angles as if they could defy gravity. In fact, his whole body seemed to defy the forces of gravity as it was propelled impossibly high.

Lucy just watched in awe, her lips slightly ajar as the adult leapt on the trampoline. He seemed to be enjoying himself more than even she had ever on the elastic bed. He cheered and whooped and yelled like a five year old. The young girl didn't know what to think other than he was slightly loony.

"You gonna just stand there then or are you gonna come join me?" the Doctor bellowed as he turned a somersault and landed gracefully back on his sock clad feet.

"Er…sure," Lucy pulled off her shoes and climbed onto the blue protected edge of the trampoline, remaining there as she was slightly afraid of the nutty man.

"Well don't just sit there, bounce!" the Doctor demonstrated his words and sprang into the air again, kicking his legs out into a star jump. He then started forward and grabbed Lucy's arm pulling her onto the trampoline centre. The girl began to flex her knees in time with the Doctor's loopy jumps but didn't allow her toes to leave the floor. The Doctor paused and frowned at her.

"Why aren't you jumping?"

"I'm kinda…worried?"

"Worried, why on earth would you be worried when you're with me? I can fend of Daleks, battle Slitheen, tame werewolves…what more could you want?" the man demanded, jumping again and grinning.

"You're the reason I'm worried, you're kinda batty," Lucy replied and then a thought struck her, "Werewolves?"

"Batty? Batty?! I'm offended! Batty is a word for weird old women that walk around with tea cosies on their heads and cats all over the place. I would've accepted, loopy, manic, crazy, wild, mad, hyper active, fruit loops, peculiar, odd, abnormal, eccentric, barmy, loony, even round the bend but not…._batty_!" the Doctor looked indignant.

"Yeah, well I was never any good at English," Lucy shrugged, a bit overwhelmed by the man's expansive vocabulary.

"Not good at English? Neither was I, stupid subject, hated it all the way through the TLA, load of cods wallop. Now science, that's another matter, best scientist in the academy! D'you like science, Lucy?" The Doctor asked, his eyes taking on that passionate flare again.

"S'ok, I suppose," Lucy replied, non committal. The Doctor looked aghast.

"Ok? Geez, what do they teach the youth of today. Science is all explosions and fire. How can you not like it?"

"Explosions and fire? Yeah right, at our school the nearest to a fire you get is a tea light which we use to evaporate water," the girl retorted.

"Tea light?! Evaporating water? Where's the fun in that? I nearly blew up the school with one of the experiments I did, never mix potassium and acid, not a good idea….no, no, no!" the man jumped again after momentarily stopping to look shocked at Lucy's revelation of her science lessons, "I can show you some stuff! Wanna see how you can blow up a bottle on the fire?"

"Oh yeah!" Lucy grinned.

"Right, but first I have some more bouncing to do. Come on!" the Doctor grabbed her arms and bent his knees ready to spring. The two of them leapt into the air and landed again.

Soon the two were having a competition to see who could go the highest. The Doctor was winning by miles, much to Lucy's disappointment. He just seemed to be made of rubber. Springing off the bed with ease, no effort required. Finally, the girl had had enough and stopped bouncing, trying to catch her breath.

"Tired already?" the Doctor smirked, barely even breaking into sweat. Lucy felt beads of perspiration trickle down her forehead and off her nose.

"Thirsty, d'you wanna drink? I can bring it out here," Lucy offered, climbing off the trampoline.

"Yes please, water will do thanks!" the Doctor continued his dancing jumps on the trampoline whilst Lucy entered the house.

* * *

When she came into the kitchen she was net with the sight of her mum putting the kettle on and Rose wolfing down some cereal. The woman smiled sheepishly as she appeared, looking at her bowl. 

"It's not what it seems, I'm all for the camping experience but I was hungry," she babbled, "Besides the boys will never no."

"Well, I've come to get drinks for me and the Doctor. He's in the garden on the trampoline," Lucy replied. Rose spluttered into her milk and almost choke on a Shreddie before managing to speak.

"On a trampoline?"

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it – a lot," Lucy answered and began pouring drinks.

"The Doctor on a trampoline! I have to see this!" Rose leapt to her feet just in time to hear a high pitched scream issue from the garden. The Doctor! Did he scream like that?

* * *

Rose charged into the garden and came across a sheepish looking Doctor who blushed as he caught sight of her. 

"What happened?" she asked breathlessly, "Not just anything makes you scream."

"Er…well…" the Doctor paused for a moment and then said, "This wolf came and attacked me…." Rose's mind rolled over the possibilities and then grinned when she realised what had attacked the Time Lord.

"Was he like this high?" she made the gesture with her hands.

"Yeah!"

"Golden eyes?"

"Yeah!"

"Hairy?"

"Very and I had to fend it off with my bare hands, you should have seen its teeth…."

"Doctor, the wolf licked you didn't it?"

"Maybe."

"That was Merlin….and you screamed!" Rose laughed unable to contain her glee.

"It was big and he jumped on me!"

"What was it again…oh yeah…. a little girl, nine, maybe ten years old. I'm seeing pigtails and a frilly skirt" the woman giggled, remembering Mickey and the rats.

The Doctor pouted, "Don't you go nicking my lines, make up your own!"

"You know, I would have been more sympathetic if you'd said a tiny Tibetan spaniel jumped on you," Rose retorted.

"Hey, Rose, I may have had a moment of weakness there but I would _not _be afraid of a spaniel, give me a little credit!" the Doctor answered, looking indignant.

"Wait until you meet, Jeff," Rose grinned.

"Who's Jeff?" he frowned.

"He's…" Suddenly a flying ball of fur appeared from inside the house and hurled itself at the Doctor. The vicious animal sunk its teeth into the Time Lord's arm and he howled in pain.

"Ooh," Lucy winced as the Doctor tried shaking his arm violently to rid himself of the dog attached to his arm. "That's gotta hurt."

"Hey, Doc, Rose! You just left me! What's going on…oh…?" Jack appeared in the garden and caught sight of the scene, "Ouch."

"Get it off!" the Doctor yelled, jumping in circles.

"He's not an it, he's a he," Lucy offered.

"I don't care!"

"Watch it, you'll hurt him," the Doctor jerked his arm one last time and the dog released its grip, zooming through the air and landing several feet away. All three women gasped and ran over to the animal's side, worried for its welfare.

"Oh, thanks a bunch! I'm the one the midget dog attacked and I'm the one who's bleeding everywhere!" The Doctor pouted and Jack shook his head, smiling.

"Here, let me help, Doc, you just gotta learn that with women, the animal _always _comes first."

**Lol, d'you like it? Please review and have a ginger bread man! Whoop!**


	5. Canoeing

**Hey, this chapter may be a bit short. Not much happens but I had another hilarious image, two in fact, and I had to include them so you'll see them in this chapter! Read on to find out what my wild, wacky imagination's dreamt up!**

"Doctor, you can't wear a suit canoeing!"

"Why not?"

"Cos you can't."

"Why not?" the Doctor crossed his arms defiantly and raised his eyebrows.

"Because…because…you just don't!" Rose trailed off weakly.

"Unless you can give me a valid reason I'll stay in my suit thanks," the Doctor replied.

"It'll get ruined," Rose offered meekly.

"No!" the Doctor clutched at his pinstripe suit protectively.

"See, so you'll wear other clothes?"

"Much as I hate to point it out to you, Rose, but I have no other clothes, _someone _locked them in the TARDIS and won't give me the key," the Time Lord responded.

"Ah," Rose said, "So you don't have _any _other clothes except that suit?"

"Have you ever seen me in anything else?"

"No," the woman admitted.

"Hang on, when my husband he left some of his clothes. I'm sure I can find something that'll fit you. He was about your height, quite a bit broader though," Debs suggested.

"Great, let's go get them," Rose followed her friend into the house.

* * *

A few minutes later the Doctor was standing in a pair of orange Hawaiian beach shorts with white flowers patterned on them. He had a blue t-shirt with some surfer brand on it and a minivan with several surfboards on the top. Rose struggled not to burst out laughing at the sight of him as the clothes were way too big and hung loosely of his frame. He had to hitch up the shorts every couple of minutes. He frowned at her expression.

"They clash," he stated, "And why do I look like I'm about to head off to the beach to go surfing? And do my legs look way too skinny or is it just me?"

"You look fine, Doc," Jack replied, stifling a chuckle.

"Yeah, right, I look like a clown," he sighed at plucked at the large t-shirt, "How big was your husband, Debs?"

"Big," Debs chortled.

"Are we gonna get going or what?" Lucy butted in, her hands on her hips.

"Yes, we better go," Rose and Debs nodded.

* * *

The Doctor and Jack stared at the canoes. There were two double canoes and one single. One of the two seated canoes was bright pink and the other was lime green. The single canoe was purple.

"Bagsy not in the pink!" both men yelled at the same time.

"That's good; cos that's the one me and Debs are in. Lucy is in the single so you two can go in the green one," Rose flounced in and began handing out life jackets.

"Together?" the Doctor yelped and moved visibly away from Jack remembering the previous night.

"Yes, d'you wanna go in the front or the back?" Jack raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"Er…I dunno which is better…the back," the Doctor wondered whether he would regret his decision but he consoled himself by reasoning that at least he could see what Jack was doing.

"Ok, put your life jackets on," Rose instructed.

"Do I have to?" Jack looked repulsed by the fluorescent coloured jacket.

"Yes," Rose replied, "Unless you wanna drown."

"I won't drown, I can swim very well thanks," Jack retorted.

"Still, wear it so you set a good example for Lucy," Rose hissed.

"Fine," Jack grabbed the jacket and pulled it reluctantly on.

"Ok, into the canoes, guys," Debs gestured to the boat and the two men climbed in, picking up their paddles. "Rose, help me with this." They both pushed the canoe into the water and it bobbed gently in the current of the river.

"See ya," Rose grinned and slide Lucy onto the river. Lastly, the two friends clambered into their canoe and set afloat.

"Let's go!" Rose yelled.

"Er…how d'you actually steer this thing?" came the Doctor's confused voice.

* * *

An hour later the Time Lord was still having trouble with the paddle. He couldn't work out how to twist it properly in his grip and nearly dropped it in the water several times. He didn't know why he couldn't do it. Usually anything he tried just clicked and he was an expert in a couple of seconds. This, this was impossible! The Doctor could tell Jack was getting very annoyed.

"What are you human's like? Floating in pieces of plastic down a bloody river!" the Doctor finally vented his frustration by yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Calm it, Doc," Jack sighed.

"Ok, please tell me how to do it one last time, Jack."

"Just twist it in one hand and dig the paddle into the water. Then leave the other hand still and twist back. It's simple."

"It's simple my butt," the Doctor grumbled and tried again. He found the paddle sliced easily through the water and the canoe was propelled along, "I'm doing it!"

"Congratulations," the ex conman said sarcastically, "Can we actually move now?"

"Yeah, now I've got it there's no stopping me," the Doctor whooped.

"Shut up and paddle," Jack replied, splashing the man with some freezing cold water.

"Fine," the Doctor pouted and then stuck out his tongue at Jack as he turned back round.

"That was mature," Lucy commented in passing and in return the Doctor crossed his eyes, poking out his tongue again.

"Right, Doctor, paddle left," Jack shouted from in front.

"I wanna go right," the Time Lord replied.

"No, we're going left."

"Right's better."

"Paddle left!"

"No," both men dug their paddles in at opposite sides and began paddling furiously. This caused the boat to turn in rapid circles and rock violently. Rose, Debs and Lucy looked on, amused.

"Something tells me this may well end up with them both getting _very _wet,"

"For Christ's sake, Doctor, stop it!" Jack yelled.

"You stop it," the time travelling alien retorted. Suddenly, without either of them realising, a raging rapid appeared. The river was gushing and crashing over several rocks and stones.

"Doctor! Jack! Watch out!" Rose shrieked, but it was too late.

The canoe plunged into the fierce water, twisting and turning, jerking the occupants from their seats. The Doctor tried in vain to hold on before the boat smashed into a large rock and crumpled, throwing the men from their seats and into the frothing river. The pair disappeared from sight under the surface.

Rose propelled her canoe forward desperately scanning the water. A head abruptly broke the surface and Jack began gasping for air, thrashing slightly in the water before regaining his concentration, swimming strongly towards the bank. He hauled his body onto the muddy edge and slumped, exhausted on the ground.

Now Jack was safe, Rose's fear for the Doctor's safety doubled and she gazed frantically at the rapid. He couldn't survive that long underwater could he? It was impossible. Then again, he was a Time Lord; didn't they have like gigantic lungs? Oh god, what if she'd killed the last of the Time Lords by drowning him in a bloody river on a pointless holiday!

Her fears were relieved as there was a sudden yell and her head snapped up to see the brightly coloured form of the Doctor clinging to an overhanging branch further down the river. He had a huge grin plastered on his face despite being drenched.

"Ha, bet you lot can't get down that rapid! Pure skill!"

**Hehe, the Doctor in the shorts and t-shirt! Whoop! Maybe I _should_ send him surfing! Hmm...what d'you think? And the last bit hanging off the branch, I can just picture him hanging upsidedown like a monkey! Lol! Review and have a piece of fudge!**


	6. Cheese and Bananas

**Ok, I don't know if this is that funny but I hope you like it! Might be a bit wrong towards the end! Oopsie! Thanks for all the great reviews, I appreciate it! Oh, thanks to Shrink to Be and Spoons i.e my mate Em for giving me several ideas in here!**

Rose shook her head at the antics of the Doctor. He was so childish. Quickly, she expertly paddled to the shore and grounded their canoe on the bank before hopping out and running down the riverside to where Jack was coughing on the floor. He had rolled onto his back and sat up as she reached him.

"You ok?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, told you I could swim," Jack replied, proudly.

"Could've fooled me. You look half drowned, and look at your hair," Rose laughed, ruffling his dark spikes that were drenched in water.

"Hey, what's wrong with my hair?!" Jack yelped, touching it tentatively.

"Nothing," Rose suppressed a giggle at his frantic look, "I better go see what the monkey is up too."

"The monkey?"

"The Doctor," Rose explained.

"Nah, I prefer your name. That's what I'll call him from now on…The Monkey," the man grinned.

"I wouldn't, he'll take it as a personal insult."

"It _is _a personal insult, it'll teach him to call us apes," the ex conman smirked wickedly.

"On your head be it," the young woman shrugged just as Debs and Lucy joined them. She set off further down the shore to where the Doctor was swinging lazily from the branch with one arm, the other dangling in the water feeling the cool liquid over his fingers.

As she drew closer Rose noticed something that made her stop short. Washed up beside her on the bank was a bright orange object. Shorts. Rose's head snapped up and she looked more closely at the Time Lord. He had no shorts on! He was in his boxers! She gasped and blushed, feeling embarrassed for just looking at the Doctor half dressed. She felt like a little kid again with a crush on some boy at the swimming pool.

* * *

The Doctor looked up as he heard the sharp intake of breath and grinned manically at Rose.

"Hey! Is this where we are stopping for a picnic cos I'm kinda hungry?"

"Er…yeah I guess…but…um…Doctor?"

"Yes, spit it out," the Time Lord smiled, "And what you gawking for?"

"You have like…" Rose struggled to keep a straight face, "No shorts on."

"Oh," the Doctor looked down and flushed crimson. His ears got a bright red tinge and his cheeks glowed. Rose couldn't help but burst out laughing, "I was wondering why it was a bit airy down below."

"Ergh! Too much information," Rose cringed and shook her head incredulously, "So, you gonna get down from there?"

"I suppose, could you perhaps get my shorts?" the Doctor asked as he catapulted off the branch and onto solid ground.

"Here."

"I told you they were too big," the Time Lord muttered.

"Yeah, I know," Rose handed over the fluorescent shorts and the Doctor quickly pulled them on.

"Hey, the Monkey, told you we should have gone left!" Jack yelled as he approached with the two other females, Debs holding a picnic bag.

"Did I hear that right? Did he just call me 'The Monkey'?" the Doctor frowned.

"Yeah," Rose smiled.

"Right, you're for it Harkness!"

* * *

The Doctor dropped down on the chequered picnic rug after chasing Jack for the last ten minutes non-stop. Rose didn't know where they found the energy. She was exhausted and could happily sunbathe on the grass for several more hours without moving an inch. The Doctor had finally given up as his stomach gave a loud rumble and he realised how starving he was.

Debs was unpacking sandwiches from bags and handing them round.

"Who's for cheese?" she asked the group.

"Ooh, me!" the Doctor raised a hand in the air and waved it wildly.

"Ok," Debs raised an eyebrow but handed him the sandwich.

"I love cheese, it's just the best," he bit into the bread and savoured the taste in his mouth.

"Oh no, please don't tell me you just gave him cheese," Rose's eyes widened in horror.

"Yeah, why?"

"He goes totally hyper, not just a bit hyper but bouncing off the walls hyper and talking at like a hundred times the normal rate! Which is quite a feat considering how fast he speaks anyway!" Rose gulped and looked at the Time Lord who was grinning like a loon, "God, it's started." The Doctor began bouncing up and down on the spot and all his limbs twitched.

"Ok, that's freaky," Lucy commented as she chewed her ham sandwich.

"Banana, banana, banana, banana, banana!" the Doctor hiccupped.

"Uh oh," Jack eyed the Time Lord warily from where he was digging into some crisps.

"Banana, banana, banana!"

"Give him the damn banana!" Jack grabbed the picnic bag and tossed the hyper alien the yellow fruit. His eyes lit up with glee and he made fast work of peeling it.

"Banana! I like bananas, bananas are good," the Doctor chirped. Once he'd finished the food he leapt to his feet and dashed off running round in circles round the sitting group, "Whoop! Whoop! Yay! Cheese! Banana! Monkey! Kettle! Spoon!"

"Kettle?" Debs repeated, frowning and looking at Rose who just shrugged in reply.

"I told you he goes totally loopy when you give him cheese."

"Yeah, I've learnt now thanks. Now how do you calm him down?"

"I'm going skinny dipping!" came the sudden announcement.

"What?!" Debs, Lucy and Rose yelped.

"Its like he's drunk," Jack sniggered.

"Anyone wanna come with me?!" the Doctor tugged off his t-shirt.

"Sure," Jack stood.

"There's no way you're going skinny dipping with my daughter here!" Debs shouted, warningly.

"I don't think you're gonna stop them!" Rose replied as the Doctor boldly pulled his shorts off.

"Christ!" Debs grabbed Lucy's head and turned it away just as the alien dropped his shorts. Rose gaped, her eyes huge and unbelieving.

"Come on, Doc!" Jack ran towards the river and dive-bombed in followed closely by the Time Lord. The two disappeared underwater and then began splashing each other.

* * *

Rose, who'd finally closed her jaws and blinked, noticed the men's abandoned clothes on the floor and an evil scheme formed in her mind. She darted forwards and scooped up the bundle. Debs gave her a questioning look and she grinned in return. Lucy, who'd now been allowed to look as the men were screened by the water, also looked quizzical.

"I'm gonna hide them," Rose explained and disappeared off into the nearby bushes, "And us, lets go."

* * *

Ten minutes later when the effects of the cheese had worn off the Doctor and he found the water was absolutely freezing, he turned back to shore only to find the others had gone. He paddled over to the bank and leapt out feeling slightly vulnerable with no clothes on and Jack just behind him.

"Hey, Doc, have I ever told you what a nice…?"

"Don't!" the Doctor cut him off, "Our clothes are gone!"

"Ah well, I quite like the breeze," Jack announced, shaking himself dry like a dog.

"Well I don't," the Time Lord replied, not wanting to turn round and see Jack, "How could they take out clothes?"

"Easy, they just picked them up and ran off."

"Don't be smart. I'm the genius here."

"Well you're the one who asked the dumb question."

**Ok, that was very random! Ah well! Did you like it? Have a, a...cheese sandwich if you review!**


	7. Prison Rules

**Hey peeps! How are you guys? I'm on holiday in Devon! My lil sister is laughing at me cos I've been dancing to the fray and kaiser chiefs! It wasnt that bad! Grr! Yay, Mika! I really shouldnt be on the laptop but my dad's managed to get wireless and if he did that how can he not expect me to come on! I mean come on! Its just sitting there begging to be used! Probs wont update for the rest of the week! Sorry! Not great chappie but review anyhoo!**

Why the hell am I doing this? Why the hell am I running through a forest absolutely stark bloody naked? These thoughts buzzed through the Doctor's overactive brain as he pelted past trees and bracken. He was feeling very exposed, especially with Jack in such close a vicinity to him. Why on earth did Rose play this stupid little trick on him? What was she, a teenager? Well, he supposed she was pretty close but still.

"Hey, Doc, wait up! I am in the nude here and my…ahh…keeps snagging on stuff!" Jack yelped in pain.

"I don't wanna know!" the Doctor shouted over his shoulder.

"Why are we running anyway? Shouldn't we be being a bit more subtle otherwise she'll hear us coming?"

"Good point," the Doctor skidded to an abrupt halt causing Jack to go careering into the back of him creating a very uncomfortable situation. The Time Lord leapt to his feet and unsuccessfully tried to dust himself down. He glared at the ex conman who just grinned back. The Doctor ignored him and looked around, all he could see were trees and more trees and more trees. All he could hear was the twittering of birds and more birds and…giggling? "Rose!"

"Oops, I think he heard us," came a muffled voice to his left.

"Damn, shouldn't have giggled," another person chimed in.

"Maybe if we stay really quiet he won't hear us," the last voice suggested, stifling another laugh.

"Like that's gonna happen," the Doctor shook his head, stepped forward and parted the ferns before him to find the three girls. They all smiled at him sheepishly.

"Hi," Rose raised a hand in greeting meekly.

"Where are our clothes?"

"Er…we mislaid them," Rose shrugged.

"Mislaid? What?! Don't lie, give me my clothes!" the Doctor shouted.

"Hey, I won't tell you where I mislaid them if you speak to me like that!" Rose stood and squared the Doctor up. Even though she was much shorter than him she made up for it by standing on tiptoes.

"Mum, you know, I think I am actually gonna be scarred for life," Lucy announced turning her head to one side.

"Oh, get used to it," Jack grinned, "You'll be seeing a lot of this when you're older."

"Ergh," Lucy looked repulsed.

"Ok, _please _let me have my clothes!" the Doctor begged his chocolate eyes big and round making it near impossible for Rose to refuse him.

"Sure," Rose turned round and picked up a bundle from the floor. The time travelling alien sagged in relief and grabbed the orange shorts and the t-shirt. Swiftly he pulled on his underwear and the rest of his clothes.

"Thank you, but don't ever do that again," he said.

Jack also received his clothes and slipped them on. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Go back to the canoes," Debs answered heading in the direction of the river.

"Ok, then what?"

"Er…then canoe back."

"Then what?"

"I dunno! Leave me alone!" Debs pouted and picked up a discarded paddle from the ground. The canoes were exactly where they left them. Lucy climbed into her own and set herself adrift.

"I bet I can beat you two losers home!" she yelled.

"In your dreams, come on Doc!" Jack grabbed the reluctant Time Lord's arm and tried to pull him to their canoe but the Doctor dragged his heels.

"I don't wanna go in a canoe with you. Last time you were mean," the Doctor stuck his bottom lip out, "You can't make me."

"Fine then," Jack bodily lifted the Doctor up and man handled him into the canoe, "Now you have no choice." Quick as a flash he leapt in and they set off.

* * *

Lucy grinned; she could see the kennels and her house coming into sight. She was so gonna beat those idiots. She put on a spurt of speed and her canoe sliced easily through the water. The cool breeze caused her hair to billow out behind her and her t-shirt to ripple. 

Suddenly she heard a yell and around the bend of the river appeared the boy's canoe. They were paddling fast and with the two of them they were gaining on her fast. Jack was in the front and he was cheering and whooping. The men were in perfect time and soon drew alongside her own boat.

"Eek!" Lucy squealed as Jack splashed a lot of water at her with his paddle, "That's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" Jack grinned manically.

"You splashing me!"

"Ah well, prison rules!" the Doctor joined.

"What the hell are prison rules?" Lucy inquired trying to flick water at them.

"Ain't you never been to prison?" Jack asked, smirking.

"No, and what is with your grammar? It's_ ever_ not never and 'ain't' isn't even a proper word, what's its root?"

"Root? Geez, don't go all grammary on me! I haven't a clue!" the man shrugged, "What did you do, swallow a dictionary?"

"Anyhoo, back to what we were originally talking about, prison rules. It means you can do what ever the hell you want, meaning I can do this!" the Doctor leant out of his seat and caught the side of Lucy, flipping her. She screamed and disappeared beneath the surface.

"Aw, Doc, whaddya go and do tha' for!" Jack seemed to have warmed to the theme of bad, colloquial language, "I mean she's a jus' a lil' kid."

"It's funny," the Doctor replied.

"Not if she don't come up fur ayr," Jack answered.

"What accent is that?"

"I dunno," Jack smiled but his expression changed and he spoke sharply, "Er…I think we have a problem. She hasn't come up, Doctor." The Doctor's eyes widened and both of them looked frantically over the side of the boat. The water was still and calm, the upturned canoe floating casually downstream.

"Christ! I thought she could swim!" the Doctor yelped.

"But she could've hit her head or something," Jack gulped, he stood up in the canoe and was just about to jump in when the vessel lurched violently and both men were plunged into the water. Each of them came up seconds later, shaking the hair from their eyes and spluttering.

"I only just dried these damn clothes!" the Doctor spat as he spotted a beaming Lucy appearing from around their canoe.

"Serves you right for you pricks shoving me in the river," the girl retorted.

"Still, you bloomin' terrified us. We thought you'd drowned," Jack coughed up some dirty river water and then latched onto their canoe for support.

"Aw, diddums, did you think you'd killed a lickle, innocent, defenceless girl?" Lucy patted Jack on the head.

"Innocent my ass, let's dunk her!" the Doctor sprang forward along with Jack, "We said its prison rules!"

**My mate, Em, will get that! Prison rules! Remember?! Yay! Doctor Who tonight! With Harry Lloyd on it! I think I'm gonna swoon! -faints- Review and have maple candy! Hyper!**


	8. Scrubs

**Um...looks very sheepish. Sorry. I havent updated in...ages. Please dont kill me! If you can find it in your hearts to get back into this story then please do. I dunno if this chappie lives up to expectations as I havent written it in so long so please forgive me. And review!**

"I'm singing in the rain. Well, shower, actually. Just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling. Ooh…that's a bit hot. Eek. I'm happy again!"

"Doctor! Will you hurry the hell up in there? I want a shower too!" Rose yelled, banging on the door of the bathroom.

"Sorry!" the Doctor grinned to himself and rinsed the last of the shampoo out of his hair and then stepped out of the shower whistling. He wrapped a green towel around his waist and then stepped in front of the mirror. "Hmm…I need a shave." He ran a hand along the stubble on his chin before whipping out his razor and setting to work.

"Doctor!" A sharp yell caused his hand to slip and slice at the skin on his jaw.

"Ow! Rose!" he shouted back, "Thanks a lot!" He looked at the cut in the mirror and sighed. Gathering a wad of toilet paper he stemmed the bleed and finished shaving.

A few minutes later the Doctor appeared a sheepish grin on his face and a long, thin cut along his chin.

"Look what you did," he admonished.

"Aw diddums, want me to kiss it better?" Rose mocked before flouncing into the bathroom.

"Wouldn't mind," the Doctor murmured under his breath before heading to the kitchen.

* * *

Jack, Lucy and Debs were sitting around the table. Jack flirting outrageously with the woman and Lucy laughing at her mother's put downs.

"Hey guys!" the Doctor greeted them jovially, "Ooh, its getting dark. Let's make a fire!"

"Fire!" Lucy's eyes lit up with excitement and she jumped to her feet.

"And where d'you think you're going, young lady?"

"To make a fire!"

"But your tea's gonna be ready soon."

"I'm not hungry," Lucy waved her mum off, "Let's go."

"Fine," Debs shrugged and left them to it.

* * *

The Doctor and Lucy headed out of the house and walked towards the tent that sat solitary in the field.

They'd got back a few hours ago. After walking the dogs they had some tea and cake (on the Doctor's request) and then the Doctor jumped in the shower.

"So, who's gonna get the wood?" Lucy asked.

"You can," the Doctor said immediately, slumping on the grass and placing the few twigs they had together in a pile.

"No, you can," Lucy fell down beside him and crossed her arms.

"No you."

"You."

"You."

"I can never have a mature conversation with you, can I?!" Lucy threw her hands in the air and jumped up. She stalked off. "I'll take the high road on this one."

"Suits me," the Doctor placed his hands behind his head and lay back, "The low road is very comfortable, thanks."

* * *

Jack and Rose joined the two by the roaring fire they had going. They were toasting marshmallows and giggling randomly.

"Hi, any marshmallows left?" Rose asked.

"Sure, help yourself," the Doctor offered her the packet before placing his own smouldering sweet on the tip of his tongue before yelping as it burnt the sensitive skin, "Not gonna be doing that again. I should really stop trying stuff with my tongue first."

"Where's Mum?"

"She was enjoying the peace and quiet when we left. She gave us these though," Rose lifted up some bottles of beer.

"Ooh! Yay!" the Doctor grinned, "Give us one."

"What? You are actually going to drink beer?"

"You think I don't drink beer?" the Time Lord raised an eyebrow.

"I've never seen you before."

"Well, I'm not this time either. I want to show Lucy what happens when you put a sealed bottle with alcohol on the fire. Watch and learn, Luce."

"You know I don't think that's such a good idea," Rose warned as the Doctor placed the bottle on the fire.

"Trust me, I'm a genius."

"You should get that on a t-shirt," Jack commented dryly.

"I tried but it only came in pink or yellow and I don't think either is my colour," the Doctor retorted.

Flame were licking at the bottle on the fire and it was shaking slightly.

"You know, maybe we should move back," the Time Lord suddenly said, "Its gonna blow."

Everyone dived to the floor just as the pressure built its breaking point and the bottle exploded. The fire almost jumped upwards and shards of glass span off in all directions.

"Ok, maybe that wasn't so clever," the Doctor lifted his head off the ground, grinning, "But it was cool, you have to admit." He climbed to his feet.

"Yeah, Doctor, _so_ cool," Rose said, incredulous, "By the way, you're on fire."

"What? Argh!" the Doctor's trouser leg was aflame. He began spinning in circles, hopping on the spot, "Ah-e-oh, hot. Hot. So hot!" The man flung himself on the floor and rolled around on the grass until the material was free of fire, "I'm good! I'm good."

"Yeah, well let's get to bed. Lucy get lost," Jack declared.

"Thanks a bunch," Lucy leapt to her feet, "See you guys in the morning."

* * *

"Rolling, rolling, rolling. Rolling round in sleeping bags."

"Stop it."

"Rolling, rolling."

"Doctor, I'm trying to get to sleep. If you don't stop that now I will hurt you," Rose growled from inside her sleeping bag.

"Sorry, I just think I'm slightly _hyper_!" the Doctor chattered, eyes bright, "Must be all the additives in the marshmallows! Hic."

"Rolling…"

"Doctor…" Rose hissed warningly.

"Sorry."

"Is Jack asleep?"

"Uh-huh," the Doctor nodded in the darkness, "Let's jump him!"

"Let's not. You may have gay tendencies but I don't want him getting the wrong idea."

"Spoil sport." Suddenly there was a loud snore, like a rumbling volcano.

"Whoa, was that Jack?"

"Nope, it was the bear outside that's about rip your head off," the Doctor said in a dead pan voice.

"Yeah whatever," Rose laughed exasperated. The Doctor let out a very animalistic growl and Rose screamed. The Time Lord burst out into manic laughter.

"That was not funny!"

"It was."

"Wasn't!"

"Not a teensy bit?"

"No."

"Ok."

"Is Jack still asleep?"

"Yup."

"I have an idea."

"Involving what?"

"Scrubs."

"What?"

"Ever watched it? It's a comedy about doctors."

"Yes, I know what it is Rose. I have been around a bit."

"Well, there's this bit where Doctor Cox and the Janitor…"

**Hehe, I love Scrubs! Anyway, hope you liked it. Next time: PAINTBALLING!**


	9. Tesco

**Heya guys! Guess what? Its a quick update! Thanks to all the reviewers who are still actually reading this story despite long updates! hehe! Um...sorry I lied, no paintballing this chapter. I kinda got swept up in the moment. Hope you like oh and I have to give some mention to my friend Sam for giving me the very wrong line in this chapter! Her idea, not mine!**

A cool breeze swept over Jack and he murmured peacefully in his sleep. Something soft tickled his ear and his eyes flickered open, slowly focussing on the small pointed face of a hedgehog. Jack took a moment to register the mammal and the hedgehog a few seconds to realise this wasn't a potential home. The creature let out a terrified squeak and scarpered. Jack leapt back to avoid the prickly animal and placed his hand right on the retreating back of another hedgehog.

"Argh!" he yelped and drew his injured limb to him, "Ow, spiky" He nursed his hand and took in his surroundings. He was lying in the middle of the field. The tent was about a hundred metres to his left and he could hear no sound from it. Checking his multifunctional watch he discovered it was seven o'clock. "Bastards," he muttered.

When he sat up in his sleeping bag, hair all over the place, he found it covered in dew, "Bollocks."

"You know," he yelled angrily, "If you wanted some time on your own together you could've just asked!"

Suddenly the Doctor's head popped out of the top of the zip, like a meerkat, and spotted Jack, "'Scuse me, trying to have some private time, here."

"You wish," Rose tried to say but was muffled by the Doctor's hand and it came out 'mmph'. The Doctor flashed a cheesy grin at the captain.

"We were trying to help you get in touch with nature," he said.

"Yes," Jack held up his hand, "I touched it alright, many times."

"Eew, that's jut gross." Rose peeped out and made a face.

"I also had a very unpleasant encounter with Mr Spiky and Mr Prickles or it may have been Mrs. How do you tell the sex of a hedgehog?"

"Did you know, that one in five ducks are gay," the Doctor stated randomly, "True fact."

"Ok, I feel like breakfast."

"Me too, what are we having?" the Time Lord agreed, looking at Rose.

"Erm….why are you asking me?"

"Because you're a woman," Jack smiled.

"I _cannot _believe you just said that!" Rose glared daggers at the man.

"Actually, what I think he means is you organised this trip so shouldn't you have gathered the food for all the meals so its all ready prepared?"

"Oh, right, I knew there was something I forgot. Must be a trip to Tescos," Rose declared.

"Yay! Tescos!" the Doctor grinned.

* * *

The three of them had to walk into the nearest village and catch a bus into town. They arrived at the supermarket and the Doctor immediately grabbed a trolley.

"Bagsie being pusher!" he grinned like a child.

"Ok," Rose raised her eyebrow and shrugged.

"Um…" Jack had just spotted a very good looking guy standing in a café, "I'm just gonna go over here. Meet you here for breakfast."

* * *

Rose and the Doctor entered the shop and headed for the fruit section. Baskets and trays of different coloured fruits lined the shelves: pears, oranges, apples, pineapples and bananas...

"Bananas!"

"How did I know you were gonna say that?" Rose groaned as the Doctor began piling the yellow fruit into the trolley, "That's enough." The woman grabbed his hand and steered him away.

"Aw, no, we need more, that won't last me a day!"

"Five bunches?!"

"Ok, two days."

"We need proper food: bread, meat, eggs," the woman stated, "Let's go."

* * *

The Doctor ran little along the empty aisle and then jumped on the end of the trolley propelling it forwards. The Doctor whooped in delight, enjoying whizzing along.

"Doctor stop it. Don't be so childish. And watch out for that woman!" Rose screeched the last bit as a doddery old lady appeared at the end of the aisle, intent on searching for cat food and not noticing the seemingly middle aged man flying towards her on the back of a trolley.

"Uh oh," the Time Lord gulped and tried steering the trolley with his weight. The cart tipped dangerously to the right and nearly flipped up.

"Careful!" Rose yelled as the Doctor dropped his feet onto the floor and dragged them on the slippery surface until he came to a juddering stop.

"Phew, that was a close one."

"Oh, hello, dear, have you seen the cat food? I can never remember where they keep it." The woman finally noticed the Doctor a smiled fondly completely unaware of how close she'd been to being knocked flying.

"Um…I'm not sure…sorry…possibly in the pet food section," the Doctor suggested.

"Oh, good idea….and where's that?"

"Two to the left of this aisle, love."

"Thank you" she said and left.

"You're an idiot!" Rose hit the Time Lord on the arm.

* * *

Prancing around the cake section the alien's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and he licked his lips ravenously. He rifled through the stacks of éclairs, brownies and flapjacks occasionally pulling one out and asking Rose, "Can we get these?" to which she would always reply no.

"Why not?" the Doctor whined when she turned down his request for gingerbread men.

"Because, they all have too much sugar in," Rose answered.

"Please, just the gingerbread! Pwetty pwease with a cherry on top?" the Doctor made puppy dog eyes and pouted.

"Oh, fine," Rose relented, how could she refuse that?

"Yay!"

* * *

The two of them, laden with bags, met Jack in the Tesco café. He was sitting with his hands around a cup of coffee, one bandaged from his earlier ordeal. Another man was with him. He had short blonde hair and startlingly vivid blue eyes that if you squinted slightly almost looked violet. He had a strong jaw and a muscled body from what Rose could see through his clothes. She could tell why Jack liked him.

"Hey, guys, I'd like you to meet Johnny Baxter," the captain introduced the man.

"Hi," Rose smiled shyly.

"How d'you do?!" the Doctor grinned manically at the stranger. The man raised an eyebrow slightly, "Jack's new_ friend_ I see."

"Um…we're not," the man was quick to cut off that idea.

So he was straight. Nice. Rose thought to herself. Not that she would dream of doing anything with him. But it couldn't hurt to make the Doctor jealous.

"Anyway, what's for breakkie?"

"Well, anything on this menu," Jack said.

"Oh, right! Full English then! Oh, wait, no, pancakes! I love the pancakes. Or omelette! Always enjoy one of them in the morning. What are you guys having? Johnny, anything you recommend. I don't come to Tescos that often. Not around Earth much. Usually eat on the TARDIS." As the Doctor babbled the stranger watching grew even more intrigued.

**Hehe, I love the bit where Janitor and Doctor Cox put JD in the carpark in his bed. You may have seen some slight references there to Spooks. I think I'll just warn you now. I am, although this is a completely DOCTOR WHO based story. It may have little hints or maybe even characters from my other fav tv programmes! **

**Robin Hood on SATURDAY!** **Ooh, I found out that it is quite likely that when Dave T leaves then Harry Lloyd is gonna be the next Doctor! How cool?! Apparently he was recommended by both DT and RTD. REVIEW!**


	10. Dinosaurs

**OK, havent updated in ages! Thanks for the reviews! Much appreciated. I don't think I like this chapter as much as the last. Not as funny.**

The Doctor sprinted across the opening, his converse squelching in the sticky mud, his head down low and a gun clutched tightly in his hand. He reached a wooden shelter and took refuge in there, peeping over the top of the protective fence to see if he could spot anyone.

The area of hilly land seemed to be deserted, he thought he may have seen a flash of movement in the abandoned helicopter though and around the disused tank situated beside the main watch tower. Though it could just be his eyes playing tricks on his already paranoid and tense mind.

His hearts pumped wildly beneath his ribs as he felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Looking over the top of the wall again he noticed a dark head bobbing around a trench piled with sandbags a few hundred metres away. It was Jack. An ally. He waved timidly not wanting to attract attention to his whereabouts and Jack waved back, green camouflage paint all over his face. He made an army salute which the Doctor returned.

Suddenly he got the feeling he was being watched, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled and a shiver went down his spine. He held his weapon tighter, the heavy weight of hard metal in his hands a comfort and he plucked up the courage to turn on the spot where he was faced with a blonde haired man, a gun pointing right at his heart.

True to form, the Doctor wheeled around and legged it, breaking cover and heading for the safety of Jack's trench. He could hear the footfalls of his enemy behind him and that forced him to run faster, all thought of watching where he was going and looking out for other hostiles forgotten.

There was a bang from somewhere a few metres to his left and the next moment there was an immense pain in his chest. Red liquid exploded from his torso as he tripped on a protruding root and was sent sprawling into the huge puddle that had unfortunately appeared before him.

"MAN DOWN! I REPEAT MAN DOWN!" came Jack's voice followed by laughter.

"How awesome was that shot?!" another voice this time much shriller and excited whooped in delight.

"It was great," a new, deeper sounding speaker joined, "D'you think we should help him?"

"Nah, leave him to wallow, quite literally, in his sorrows. We won! High five!"

"Hey, Doc, you ok?" Jack asked from just above the fallen man's head.

"Those damn paintballs don't half hurt," he mumbled and hauled himself, humiliated, from the water to be met with a grubby Jack, his hair messy and leaf strewn, a giggling Rose and a smiling Johnny, "Thanks for that, guys."

"No problem," Rose replied, her black paint gun still in hand, the one that had delivered the final blow to cause Jack and the Doctor to lose the game.

All four of them were smattered with multicoloured pain splats ranging from on the arm to one that was rather close to Jack's crotch which Rose had found rather amusing to fire. "I'm gonna have one helluva a bruise down there tomorrow," was his only comment.

The group had been playing for a solid hour in the sludgy, wet area designated to paint-balling. There were other people there too but they'd generally just ignored them, to intent and concentrated on winning their own game. It had been exhausting and quite painful and now most of them were ready to quit except the Doctor.

Having regained some composure on two feet again the Doctor moaned all the way back to the main control hut. "Why can't we do it again? I wanna win this time!"

"Stop being such a sore loser, take off those clothes and get over here," Rose ordered impatiently from where she was waiting at the exit, stripped of her paintball gear and eager to leave so they could move on to the next thing.

"Now, I wouldn't mind you saying that to me," Jack sidled up to here and nudged her.

"Stop being so bloody sex driven crazed maniac! Or I'll have you done!"

"No!" Jack let out a whimper like the animal he had just been likened too and shut up.

"Hey, guys, I'm sorry to say I have to go," Johnny joined them. He had come with them on this trip because Jack had practically begged him and, it was true, he'd had a lot of fun, but now he needed to get back to work.

"Oh, right, well see you Johnny-boy!" the Doctor had finally got changed had had immediately forgotten all about his upset at not being able to play again, "We may see you again whether it be past or future! That's if I ever get my TARDIS back from Rose!" he shot a look at the said girl and then he slapped the thoroughly confused Johnny on the back heartily and began walking off.

"See you, Johnny, great game," Rose nodded and followed to escaping Time Lord.

"Maybe see you around," Jack grinned and then pulled the startled man into a hug before he had time to register though Jack had let go and sprinted to join the others.

Johnny doubted whether he would ever meet them again or indeed anyone that compared to such a strange threesome. With that thought in his mind he left.

* * *

The Doctor sat on the uncomfortable chair, his bum feeling numb and his back aching from sitting unnaturally straight against the hard back. Rose was beside him and Jack was on the pair of seats in front, looking out of the window at the rain lashing down, completely spaced out. A teen was sitting behind them and he would occasionally feel a bit of rolled up gum paper hit the back of his neck and a snigger from behind, it was getting annoying.

He hated buses, no worse than that, he _loathed _them, detested and despised the horrible, fuel guzzling machines that moved slowly it seemed as if the old lady outside with a brolly and a shopping bag could walk faster. He groaned at every stop that wasn't his as people took ages to depart from the vehicle and then more passengers took longer to get on and then the driver had to get out for a fag. It was very frustrating when all he wanted to do was to get to wherever Rose's next activity location was.

The clues had been. It's a big building, like a warehouse and inside its very noisy and everyone gets very competitive. What on earth could that mean? It could mean that they were holding a loudest burp contest in a giant warehouse for all the use that was.

The Time Lord 'hmphed' and 'ughed' to himself but Rose just ignored him preferring to listen to the ipod whose headphones were sat snugly in her ears. It irritated him profusely that she could just block out his voice no matter how much he chattered to her and complained.

* * *

Suddenly, he felt something sticky hit the back of his neck. It was a ball of green, gooey chewing gum thrown by the boy behind him. That was the finally straw.

The fact that the bus did not have seatbelts was probably a good thing because of the speed the Time Lord jumped to his feet he would've forgotten all about it had there been.

"Right! Listen here! If you don't stop throwing paper and chewing gum at me then I will get my time machine put you in it preferably gagged, blindfolded and completely helpless and then I'm going to go back to the time of the dinosaurs where I'll either leave you in a tyrannosaurus rex's nest so it can feed tiny, ripped up pieces of your insolent body to its babies or I'll leave you beneath a herd of stampeding triceratops so you can be crushed and witness death coming upon you in the shape of thousands of tons of herbivorous, horned beast! Throw paper at them will you?"

Rose was frankly shocked and slightly terrified of the Doctor's sudden change in attitude from cheery chappy to scary, threatening alien man. She'd only ever seen him like that to bad, bad creatures who tried to kill lots of innocents.

"Whatever, dude, keep your knickers on and go back to the loony farm," the kid shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the man's rant and the fact he was talking about time machines and such.

"Argh! Kids these days! When's our stop, Rose?"

"Next one after this," she replied.

"Good! What you listening to?" the Doctor was, just as quickly as he changed back to his normal happy go lucky persona, a huge wacky grin on his face.

"Talk about giant mood swings. Er…the Kaiser Chiefs at this moment in time- Ruby."

"Ooh, can I listen?"

"If you must," Rose sighed as the alien tugged an earphone from her and put it in.

"Can I choose something?"

"If you want," Rose sighed again, looking forward to when they got off the bus.

The Doctor took the gadget and began speedily sifting through all Rose's music, his fingers a blur as he skimmed on the pad. "Aha!" He clicked on a button and suddenly the music changed and Rose groaned.

"High School Musical? How could you?"

"We're breaking free! We're soaring, flying….!"

"It's our stop!" Rose yelled, yanking the equipment from the Doctor before he could get into full swing.

The three, after rousing Jack who had fallen asleep, jumped off the bus and into the downpour outside. In front of them was a huge building with a sign backed by black and white chequers on the back: Mr Karting: Go-karts.

"Oh right!" Jack cheered.

"Wow, go-karts!" the Doctor grinned, "You do realise I may be able to steer a TARDIS through the space and time vortex but I have no coordination when it comes to driving _anything _ground bound. The last time I tried a car I nearly killed someone. This is going to be so fun!"

"Oh my god, what have I done?" Rose gulped as the two men charged towards the track.

**What do ya think? Tell me in a review!**


	11. Turbo Charged GoKarts

**Hey, Christmas present for you guys! Hope you enjoy it! Sorry I havent updated in so long. Bear with me! **

"Ok, remember guys, have fun but drive safe." Were the last words of the go-kart supervisor before the six adults were let lose on the karts.

As Rose climbed into her own kart she couldn't help feeling slightly apprehensive of what was about to come. The scene of either the Doctor or Jack smashing into a barrier and being rushed to hospital was not a happy thought to be floating around her head. She could just imagine the surprise of the doctors finding that the Time Lord had two hearts. How on earth was she supposed to explain that?

But at this moment in time the two men were acting like children and fighting over what they believed to be the best kart. It was a black vehicle with lightening bolts down the side whereas the other choice was a fluorescent pink one which they were both desperate not to be stuck in.

The Doctor currently had one long leg in the car and the other on the ground outside trying to balance himself because Jack was tugging on his elbow.

"No!" he yelped, "Its mine! I saw its first! Finder's keepers."

"What are you? Five?" the ex conman laughed and pulled the Time Lord again.

"Says you with the Barney the Dinosaur helmet," the Doctor retorted gesturing to the man's strange head gear choice.

"Hey, it was the only one that fitted and I happen to think it's quite cool."

"That's because you have a big head to go with your humungous ego. Now, move!" the Doctor said, giving Jack a shove so he sprawled onto the tarmac.

"Ouch, that was uncalled for Doc," the defeated man pouted and climbed into the last vacant go kart.

"You were the one who taught me you have to fight dirty to win."

"Oh, yeah, well, I'll thrash you on the track."

"Sure," the Doctor sniggered and then stuck a patronising tongue out at his friend before pulling his visor down.

One of the Mr Karting mechanic guys came round and yanked the starting pins so the engines would kick off in each of the karts and then he ordered them all to go round for a few practice laps with the instruction to 'take it easy'. Yeah, right, thought Rose as she watched her two companions zoom off already bumping into each other.

"Hey, guys, this is go-karting not dodgems!" she yelled over the roar of engines as she tried to catch up the boys.

"This is soo fun!" the Doctor whooped, "It's almost as manic as the TARDIS…oi! Watch it!" He directed the last furious comment at the driver of a red kart who had just spun round the corner on the inside of him, cutting him off and causing him to brake violently to avoid crashing. All he got in return for his cry of outrage was a finger from the offending driver. "What does that mean? I know its bad but I can never remember what all these signs in cultures mean. For instance, on Retrinos, sticking your middle finger up means, marry me."

"Mate, that doesn't mean he wants to marry you. In fact, he was flipping you off."

"And that means?" the Doctor asked, bewildered, to the friendly guy who had pulled up beside him.

"Um…it means he was telling you to 'fuck off'," the stranger replied, bemused.

"Oh, right, that's it. He asked for this," the Time Lord shook his head and set off after the red kart driver, his foot firmly on the accelerator pedal.

Swerving round the bend, the time travelling alien gained on the guy that had swore at him in such a rude fashion pretty quickly. He found, although he had been crap at driving an actual car, this go-karting business wasn't that hard, you just had to have quick reactions and perception; two things he used on a daily basis in the TARDIS.

Once the Doctor had made up the distance between him and his target he drew up alongside it and then overtook him performing the exact same manoeuvre he'd had done on him earlier.

"Ha-ha! Take that whoever you are!" the Time Lord whooped as he zipped past leaving the opposing driver in a cloud of exhaust fumes.

* * *

After the initial practice lap all the drivers had to come off the track for a final briefing before they went on for a proper race that would actually matter. Both Jack and the Doctor were hyper after Rose had reluctantly and now regrettably bought them Coca Colas from the vending machine. They were bouncing on the balls of their feet, impatient to get back in their vehicles and get moving again.

"Ok, guys, everyone remember what the red flag means? The green flag? The black flag?" When the supervisor received nods for all of these questions he clapped his hands together, "Alrighty then, lets get you to the starting line but don't forget this isn't Formula 1 and it doesn't matter if you win or lose so don't get too worked up."

Whilst the man had been announcing this to the audience the Doctor had wandered off to his abandoned kart and, seeing as there were no mechanics around, decided to do a bit of tinkering to give his motor a bit of a boost. What was the point in being genius in so many things and a whiz at engineering if you couldn't use it to your advantage? So, with a few buzzes of the trusty sonic screwdriver which he had recently recovered from the bottom of Rose's bag (and found a few other interesting things whilst he was at it) here and there, the kart was much more sophisticated.

"Everybody, drive to the starting line," the Mr Karting organiser ordered and watched as each of the drivers complied, "Watch for the chequered flag. Three….two….one….GO!"

The karts shot off the line like corks out of a bottle, jostling for prime position at the front of the group. Jack managed to battle his way passed several drivers and ended up in second place behind the red kart driver who was preventing any over-taking by weaving from side to side.

"Hey, get out the way, jackass!" the ex conman yelled, portraying some undiscovered road rage. In his time they didn't have half this trouble with jerk-drivers. If you drove like that you'd be chucked off the road quicker than you could say 'What the hell are you doing?'

Rose wasn't fairing too badly either, she was fourth, struggling to fend off the driver behind her which was threatening to come up her backside. Fortunately she held her own and managed to retain her position.

The Doctor was driving lazily at the back taking up a leisurely pace as if he hadn't a care in the world. Which, truth be told, at this moment in time, he certainly hadn't. Racing on this track in motorised buggies was nothing compared to battling Daleks and grappling with Slitheen. It was a walk in the park as far as he was concerned. He would just have to wait a littles longer, let the others get ahead, before he unleashed his secret weapon.

Finally though, at around the fourth lap, he decided he'd had enough of being last and wanted to shoot, quite literally, to first. Pressing down a slightly more aggressively on the pedal he gradually began to pick up speed passing a surprised fifth kart and Rose. He was now in fourth and loving the feeling of power beneath his long fingers.

It was like being twelve again when he and some friends had created a racing car with rockets on the back. They had come up with the crazy idea and built on it with their huge, creative and well educated brains to complete the monster of a machine which they had then taken to one of the flat plains of Gallifrey to test.

The Doctor remembered now that it had not gone quite to plan and they had had a very near escape from their first regeneration of their lives. Fortunately, one of the elders had followed them there and saved them from catastrophe at the last moment. Still, it had been fun to begin with.

He was feeling that same wave of exhilaration and adrenaline coursing through his body as the tempo of his beating hearts upped slightly. The Time Lord overtook the third go-kart and found himself level with an astonished Jack. He flashed his comrade a trade mark cheesy grin and accelerated to reach the leader.

As he caught the front kart the Doctor couldn't help but offer a double thumbs up at him, obviously mocking, as he drove passed. Unfortunately, he took both hands off the wheel and in that moment his turbo charged kart lurched out of control and, despite fighting to regain control, it spun off the track, hitting the wall of tyres at the edge. On impact, the vehicle's momentum caused it to ricochet violently off the rubber and flip several times through the air coming to land right in the centre of the pile of tyres.

Everyone came to an abrupt halt around the track, jaws hanging loosely open in absolute shock and horror. Rose felt her heart jump into her throat in fear. What had she done? It was all her fault! If she hadn't brought the Doctor on this stupid trip none of this would've happened.

Suddenly there was a grunt and the heavy metal kart trembled slightly before slipping side ward to reveal a slightly battered and bloodied but other than that _alive _Doctor.

"It's ok! I'm alright!" He beamed dazedly.

**Haha, only the Doctor could say that after almost killing himself in such a dramatic way. Review! Next chapter, thinking about going to the funfair. What's your opinions?**


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